Jeremy Clarkson and Kaleb Cooper Take On 20,000-Litre Water Tank Installation

A routine piece of farm infrastructure became another memorable test of patience and partnership at Diddly Squat Farm, as Clarkson’s Farm followed Jeremy Clarkson and Kaleb Cooper attempting to install a 20,000-litre rainwater tank. What began as a practical effort to capture “free, oxygenated, soft rainwater” quickly turned into a familiar mix of mechanical mishaps, generational banter and hard-earned progress.

The project was intended to be straightforward. Rainwater from the barn roof would feed directly into the large tank, providing a sustainable water supply for the farm. Clarkson, ever enthusiastic about self-sufficiency, was keen to highlight the environmental benefits. But as often happens at Diddly Squat, theory and reality failed to align.

Almost immediately, problems emerged with the tank’s placement. As the structure was lowered into position, it became clear that the ground beneath it was uneven. The water level inside the tank revealed the issue instantly. “I don’t think it’s going to work,” Clarkson admitted, concluding that a concrete base would be required.

That suggestion prompted one of his now-familiar digressions, this time aimed at Britain’s infrastructure priorities. Clarkson argued that concrete was impossible to obtain because it was all being used by HS2, the high-speed rail project. He dismissed the railway as unnecessary, claiming he had never even been on a train—a statement that left Kaleb incredulous but momentarily speechless.

With no concrete pad available, the pair decided to relocate the tank to the opposite side of the barn the following day. The move solved one problem but introduced several others. Before the tank could be fully installed, a series of components had to be fitted to its top—an awkward task given the tank’s height.

Kaleb suggested using the farm’s scissor lift, a machine Clarkson approached with immediate suspicion. As he climbed aboard, the situation quickly deteriorated. The lift moved in directions Clarkson did not expect, refused to respond as intended, and left him stranded at height while Kaleb tried to offer instructions from below.

“Go down,” Clarkson shouted, repeatedly. When the machine failed to cooperate, his frustration grew. Kaleb eventually suggested fetching a ladder, insisting that the situation was under control. Clarkson strongly disagreed, voicing his dislike for the equipment and his discomfort with working at height.

Despite the tension, the job continued. The pair manoeuvred the components into place, arguing over positioning and technique. At one point, Clarkson accused Kaleb of underestimating the force required, prompting Kaleb to tell him to “push like a man,” a comment that Clarkson did not let pass unchallenged.

The exchange quickly turned personal, though clearly tongue-in-cheek. Clarkson pointed out their age difference—61 versus 23—suggesting that experience ought to count for something. Kaleb, unfazed, fired back that it was Clarkson’s show anyway, a remark that only fuelled the presenter’s mock outrage.

Eventually, after repeated adjustments, shouted instructions and several near-misses, the top fittings were secured. Clarkson, clinging to the lift, announced he was “on” and demanded confirmation that the job was finally done. Kaleb confirmed that the components were in place, though not without one last warning not to knock him off the machine.

The moment summed up the dynamic that has become central to Clarkson’s Farm. Clarkson brings enthusiasm, improvisation and a tendency to underestimate physical realities. Kaleb counters with practical farming knowledge, blunt advice and little patience for drama. Together, they manage to complete tasks that neither could handle alone—albeit with considerably more friction than most farms would tolerate.

While the installation itself was minor compared to harvesting or livestock management, it reflected the everyday challenges of running a modern farm. Access to materials, safe working practices and adapting plans on the fly are all part of rural life—something the programme continues to illustrate with unusual candour.

By the end of the task, the water tank was finally in position, ready to collect rainwater as intended. The path to completion had been anything but smooth, but the result was another small victory for Diddly Squat Farm.

As Clarkson often remarks, farming is rarely about grand moments and more about persistence through small frustrations. In this case, a 20,000-litre tank became yet another reminder that at Diddly Squat, even the simplest jobs have a habit of turning into an adventure.